oh prawn,

2.19pm. fuck. this room smells like shit. the toilet smells even shittier. i sniff my fingers and they smell like soap and its good. i look at the desk near the window and i see my dead prawn in a tupperware filled with water. its rotting and it smells like rotting shit. five prawns contaminated my whole room and the toilet. including a mixture of human faeces and urine. i throw the prawns in the sink and wash them with soap. the smell doesnt go away. it stays. it remains. fuck. i take four and i put them in a plastic bag and shove them in a paperback near the window. i place one almost orange-looking prawn in the tupperware and fill it with water. i take it back to my room and place it near the window where the sun shines inside. nothing does any good. the smell is there. it is still there. i stare and i look away.

2.34pm. i am hungry. my stomach making sounds. it discomforts me. i want to get something to eat. i have no appetite but im hungry all at the same time. i have diarrhoea earlier and it feels stupid. now im hungry and it still feels stupid.

3.27pm. i have food. im no more hungry. i curse the prawn as i look at it. curse all that is left of it. i try to relax. look out the window and see the wind blowing roughly at the trees. i like the motion of it. i listen to elisa's stranger. i fall into the rhythm of her song. i feel the way she feels in her song. i like it.

"stranger you look so different. some other thoughts fill up your mind. and you just made it happen. oh and now, i think of you though you dont know the reason but nevermind."-elisa,dancing.

i missed him.