12.16am. this feels weird. i dont know. alot of what i am feeling right now feels weird. i feel its me. it is just me. i am lying if i say i dont feel anything. i feel it. i feel it strong inside. i cant live like this forever. nothing now feels right. i see my friend and i hear her talk and shes not happy. i feel it. i talk to another friend and he tells me hes happy, hes lying. i can feel it. we are all broken.
12.29am. i chat and i listen to songs that fits my purpose of hearing it now. i wear a colorful shirt of pink and white and gray and i take a picture. i dont always own colors like this. i put it up on my display so everyone sees it. my friend tells me it looks nice, and be colourful. i tell him, im not particularly a "colorful" person. he tells me he knows and that its a good change. i tell him i dont like changes and i like everything in my life to stay the same, thats a lie, life is lying. i missed him.
12.55am. i look at the date today, the clock is ticking, and i will be leaving in five days. i feel annoyed, i feel sad, i feel worthless, i feel depressed. i feel alot has happened and we never thought it would and we dont like it. i listen to my friend. she tells me stories and how it tears her up inside to know the truth, she feels hollow, she feels like dying. as she talks, i stare blindly off the screen and my mind wonders off else where.
1.43am. i dont know this. i dont know that. i dont know anything. i have so much to say and yet i dont know how to. this sucks. i hate the holidays. it sucks so much. i want to be out, be happy but im not. i have too much shit going on in my head that i dont say a word anymore. i am silent. i dont speak. i worry. there are so many things going wrong, getting wrong, at the wrong places, the wrong time. this is weird, i feel weird D:
"but i will remember you, will you remember me?"-sarah mclachlan.
"it only hurts when im breathing,"-shania twain.
12.29am. i chat and i listen to songs that fits my purpose of hearing it now. i wear a colorful shirt of pink and white and gray and i take a picture. i dont always own colors like this. i put it up on my display so everyone sees it. my friend tells me it looks nice, and be colourful. i tell him, im not particularly a "colorful" person. he tells me he knows and that its a good change. i tell him i dont like changes and i like everything in my life to stay the same, thats a lie, life is lying. i missed him.
12.55am. i look at the date today, the clock is ticking, and i will be leaving in five days. i feel annoyed, i feel sad, i feel worthless, i feel depressed. i feel alot has happened and we never thought it would and we dont like it. i listen to my friend. she tells me stories and how it tears her up inside to know the truth, she feels hollow, she feels like dying. as she talks, i stare blindly off the screen and my mind wonders off else where.
1.43am. i dont know this. i dont know that. i dont know anything. i have so much to say and yet i dont know how to. this sucks. i hate the holidays. it sucks so much. i want to be out, be happy but im not. i have too much shit going on in my head that i dont say a word anymore. i am silent. i dont speak. i worry. there are so many things going wrong, getting wrong, at the wrong places, the wrong time. this is weird, i feel weird D:
"but i will remember you, will you remember me?"-sarah mclachlan.
"it only hurts when im breathing,"-shania twain.
1 comments:
kau ni kadang creepy lah. hahaha.
oh btw. bumped.
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