oh black out, :3

i have missed alot of things. i have missed the people that i used to be with. the people that has touched my heart. i have missed the places that ive been to. places that memories are only the remains of it. i have missed the laughter and stomach aches and jaw pain that i get from giggling for far too long. i have missed the days i feel i had no worries at all. i have missed them memories i had not very long ago. i missed it alot. i missed it. i missed the feeling i felt when i looked into your eyes and it didnt fall in between the words we speak. i missed the presence i felt when i was happier that it didnt slipped by us. i missed the love i felt, that eventually went away. i missed the feeling of a good nights sleep, it isnt there anymore. for love, i left your side.

its not easy. not easy to realize the fact that my hand has changed color since. it is not easy to wake up from a black out when all the pain rushes to your head. its crazy how your blood circulates really quick that you havent got the time to figure out whats happened. and then it comes. it comes just as fast as the black out goes. the migraine and headache hits every nerve in my head i cant handle the pain i hold my head as tight and grip my hair with my fingers and the pain lingers around the edges of my almost gone mind fuck this motherfucking pain pain pain now watch me die. you dont understand.

i dream of myself gotten murdered but i didnt die. a few seconds ago, i wish i was dead.