tomorrow is a different day. i dont know what brought me here. but today i feel so out of place. i feel and i fear of these unknowns. i like the things that seperates my mind from what is real in my world right now. but today i lie awake on my bed on this tiled floor. i stare at what is above me and i see traces of what was left behind. i look at the door that is infront of me. i feel it is about to slam right open any second but it doesnt. i write on this paper and i am running out of space. i run out of time. i run out of ink. i run out of feelings. i wake up on my bed and i look at the scars on my legs and i hate it. it is my inability of handling stress and what appears to be heat related. they grow just about everywhere on the surface of my skin. i drop my back against the bed and i shut my eyes for a moment to catch a breath. and i get up again and i realize i have moved on. i laugh and i scream and i smile and i run about and there are no traces of tears. not anymore. i dont hurt anymore. that is the point where i start to lie. i lied. you said it was my fault, of course it was mine.
today, i wake up, i realize nothings quite much the same anymore. i have not been that person i was a semester ago. i realize how fast so many things have changed. i changed, you changed, we all have changed. so much have changed in so little time, i never really have the time to stop and wonder why its all happening too quickly. i think of people who were once apart of what seem to be my world, they have now gone away. i listen to songs, they bring back memories of a time where it felt all too different to feel it today. i look at fotografs of us, i stare and i sit still and i cant believe we have grown too soon. i look in the mirror, i look at the person that is staring back at me, what i have become, i have changed. i look at the date today, i look at those faces, i know we all have changed. time rushes, so i lose track of days. how can i sit here and write these things and ask too much and feel of nothing. i feel too much, i figured that was one reason why this blog hasnt lived since. because i did not want to feel too much. and write things that do not make sense. i lose my senses. and i stop and i blame and i give excuses and i walk away. it is, very typical of me. but never quite like me today. so who am i to say this situation isnt great?
"before your too far gone, before nothing can be done,"-robert pattinson, let me sign.
today, i wake up, i realize nothings quite much the same anymore. i have not been that person i was a semester ago. i realize how fast so many things have changed. i changed, you changed, we all have changed. so much have changed in so little time, i never really have the time to stop and wonder why its all happening too quickly. i think of people who were once apart of what seem to be my world, they have now gone away. i listen to songs, they bring back memories of a time where it felt all too different to feel it today. i look at fotografs of us, i stare and i sit still and i cant believe we have grown too soon. i look in the mirror, i look at the person that is staring back at me, what i have become, i have changed. i look at the date today, i look at those faces, i know we all have changed. time rushes, so i lose track of days. how can i sit here and write these things and ask too much and feel of nothing. i feel too much, i figured that was one reason why this blog hasnt lived since. because i did not want to feel too much. and write things that do not make sense. i lose my senses. and i stop and i blame and i give excuses and i walk away. it is, very typical of me. but never quite like me today. so who am i to say this situation isnt great?
"before your too far gone, before nothing can be done,"-robert pattinson, let me sign.
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